These last few months have been tough. Day in and day out I missed my husband. Waking up and going to bed by myself was never the greatest feeling in the world. It was tough the first very days not having him around. All the things we did together, that I could never do on my own because it never felt right, took me a while to do.
You would think, ok, he is only gonna be gone for four months and It will be over before you know it and It will so be worth the wait; and believe me that was all true but little did I know…would it be a killer on my heart.
Being in the military and having to live the military life sometimes can be very hard. It can take a toll on your emotions sometimes.
We were only married for about three months before he went off to Texas and being newly married made it even harder. The beginning of a couples marriage is when you get to take the time to getting used to actually living together and understanding the marriage is more than just a ring on your finger. Its having to make sacrifies that we sometimes don’t want to take. Its trusting each other and learning how to always be honest. No matter what. Its learning to take on completely new challenges as a new couple. Its learning how to build a rich relationship while still knowing those bounderies. Its learning how to put your faith before all things. Its establishing a good balance in life, its all these things that we never really had to do before and now have to.
Living together for three months and than being apart for four…kindof outs you back into the single mentality. After a while you get used to living just by yourself. Obviously yes you still have all those new things you are learning but its like than your two worlds collie for a while and it throws you through a loop. Trying to stay in the marriage mentality is not hard but when you live by yourself for a while, you get that single mentality trying to haunt you. Its very odd.
Anyway, these last four almost five months have been hard. Knowing that my husband is just a text or phone call away( Sometimes) made things easier but than it also made me wish they he could be here next to me instead. Every day that passed was another day closer and every day I got happier, but some days it was also hard.
I am now two days away from him being home and there are no words to describe how happy I am. I cannot wait to just hold him again and know that he will be right by my side.
Sometimes I took all the little things for granted before he left, like our evening walks, making dinners together, seeing him when I got home from work, holding his hand, going on adventrues, all the things I don’t think about…where the hardest things to deal with. That is one lesson I have learned; Never take things for granted. Always cherish every moment because you never know how important it may be or If it may be the last.
Today and everyday since he left has been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life. I am generally not one that has trouble with redirecting my thoughts. I am a pretty happy, upbeat person but there were some days i was not me. Its amazing what love can do the heart. I got so lucky and married a true gentleman and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
All I can say is, I am ready for it to be monday. I need the man of my dreams back in my arms again! No more roller coaster for me please!