Goodbyes

What is it about goodbyes that create so much emotions. Why is it that we all have such a hard time with them? Why do we get so….just sad?

I have never really liked the word “goodbye”, i have kindof always tried to see it as a “see you when I see you” thing but under certain circumstances, that is just flat out hard to do. That’s usually the case when it comes to losing a loved one.

This time though I am def having one of those “goodbye”, “not see you when I see you” moments. It has always been very hard for me to leave people that are VERY important to me.

A while ago, I left behind what I didn’t truly realize at the moment was more than just a friendship and was more of my family. Since that day I have never been the same. I never felt like me. I just felt out of place!!

Just recently, this week actually, I got to see those people and it def was even harder to leave. I always feel so home and in a place where I belong, when I’m there. A good amount of people in my life hate it but I can’t help the fact that that’s where I want to be and that’s where I believe I belong.

I’m sure a good part of how I feel is emotional because sure, I should be able to be “me” anywhere but it goes much deeper than that. Is always a story behind everything.

But back to goodbyes. I did not realize and was not fully prepared to say goodbye. I wanted more time bc i didnt know when i was going to see them again. And it’s times like these that get the best of me. It honestly makes my heart ache and I do not like it!

I know that right now I am letting my thoughts and emotions get the best of me but its hard when you love people so much. I guess this is all just a learning experience though.

I just wish goodbyes where not so hard!!!!

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