Ego: Part 2

So I have finished the book ” A New Earth- Awakening to your life’s purpose” and I must say, I think it is a must read for everyone and I mean everyone. Eckhart Tolle really does have some amazing work. If you don’t like to read; well you can still listen to his Cd’s :p

Anyways, I think I last left off just giving you guys some points that I had highlighted from the book. And I must say, I could have highlighted everything If I really wanted too. lol. But the last thing I really discussed was about complaining and resentment and how that is what the ego thrives on the most. The next thing he goes on to talk about is how complaining can can turn into reactivity; and this is a way the ego can strengthen itself.  There are many of us out there who are waiting to react to the next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed about. They have become addicted to upset and anger, as others would to a drug.  Wen you have long standing resentment it is then called grievance: to be in a constant state of “against” and they can take over a good part of people’s egos.

A grievance is such a strong negative emotion and it can contaminate so many areas of your life. All those negative emotional energy can distort how you look at things in the present moment or can even influence the way you speak or behave towards someone in the present. One strong grievance is all you need to keep you in the grip of your ego. If you want to try to let go of those grievances, you can’t really do that. Trying to let go of something, to forgive, does not work. Forgiveness happens naturally when you see that it has no purpose other than to strengthen a false sense of self, to keep the ego in place. The seeing is freeing.  The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only grievance about the past can do that.  And all that is is a bunch of old thought and emotions.

Next he talks about being right and making wrong. There is nothing that strengthens the ego more than being right. Being right is identification with a mental position- a perspective, an opinion, a judgment, a story. For you to be right, you of course need someone else to be wrong. And so the ego LOVES to make wrong in order to be right. In other words: you need to make others wrong in order to get a stronger sense of who you are!

Not only a person, but also a situation can be made wrong through complaining and reactivity, which therefore applies that ” this should not be happening.” Being right places you in a higher superiority. It is that sense of superiority that the ego craves ad through which enhances itself.

One thing that he talked about that I loved was how a genuine relationship is not dominated by the ego. In a genuine relationship, there is an outward flow of alert attention to the other person in which there is no wanting. The ego always either wants something and if their is nothing to get from the other, it doesn’t care about you. He points out that the three most predominant states of egoic relationships are: wanting, thwarted wanting ( anger, resentment, blaming, complaining) and indifference.

Something else he talked about that stood out to me was, the many faces of the ego. Some egos if they cannot get praise or attention, will settle for other forms of attention. If they cannot get positive attention, they may seek the negative attention. For example, provoking a negative reaction is someone else. The playing of negative roles becomes particularly pronounced whenever the ego is magnified by emotional pain from the past that wants to renew itself through experiencing more pain. A very common role is the ” victim,” and it seeks sympathy or pity or others interest in our problems, ” me and my story.”  Once we have identified with a story in which we assigned ourselves the role of victim, we don’t want it to end, and so to ego does not want and end to its “problems” because they are part of its identity. We  tell ourselves that if nobody will listen to our story, then we can tell it to ourselves over and over again, and feel sorry for ourselves, and so have an identity as someone who is being treated unfairly by life or other people, fate , or god. It gives us definition to our self- image, makes us into someone, and that is all that matters to the ego.

In many so-called romantic relationships, role playing is quite common in order to attract and keep whoever is perceived by the ego as the one who is going to “make me happy, make me feel special, and full fill all my needs.” ” I’ll play who you want me to be, and you’ll play who I want you to be.” Role-playing is hard work, and so those roles cannot be sustained indefinitely, especially once you start living together. When those roles slip, what do you see? Not the true essence of that being, but that which covers up the true essence: the raw ego. What is commonly called ” falling in love” is in most cases and intensification of egoic wanting and needing.

I would love to keep talking about his book, and I could, but then there would be no need for you all to read it!

I think that this book, or any of his books, should be a must read for everybody. It might not seem so interesting, but I guarantee you after you finish reading/listening to one of his writings, something inside you has changed or is wanting to change.

So I ask you, If this sounds interesting to you at all or something keeps telling ya give it a try, do it!

He has a website;  http://www.eckharttolle.com/ where you can watch some videos and learn more about him. 😀

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