Journal

Today I decided to treat my blog as my journal. I usually have a separate place; my journal, where I write down some of the things that I generally do not like to post here. Things that are more personal generally. So i’m gonna take a swing at it.

Lately, I have been finding myself having difficulty dealing with some motivation issues.I am not down or depressed, I am very happy actually. My life seems to be getting better by the day. Its just ever since I have takin this night shift, I seem to be a zombie. It might be just the fact that my body has not had the chance to adjust to working at night then sleeping during the day. But I find myself not being as motivated to do certain things. I haven’t touched the bass in like three weeks which disappoints me a bit much. I am still blogging/journaling which is fantastic. Some days though, I still have difficulty doing that.

Surprisingly my workouts have been pretty darn good. I am slowly increasing my distance. I kind of want to switch it around though. I want to start increasing my speed instead.

I am having trouble studying/preparing for when I leave for boot camp. I am supposed to be reading and learning the Navy basics, like sailors Greed, 11 General Orders, etc…Its not that hard and I have a couple months but I wanted to get a heard start so I could start studying other things too.

I know that its all just in my head.

It could be true that my body just hasn’t had the chance to completely get used to the schedule change but that is no reason to not get things done. Its just difficult when you always seem tired.  So I need to work on keeping myself motivated and focused.

Another thing that I have noticed is that my relationships with people seem to be getting better. I seriously love that. I have been struggling with this issue for the last three years of my life!! Due to some factors in my life that have caused people to take a different look at me and how I live my life; has effected my relationships with people and how I see them.  If you do not live your life the way somebody else wants you too, your life can be hell for you because they are consatntly on your ass about everything you do and are so controlling. People are honestly so selfish its rediculous. All they do is think about them and what they want and how they ” feel”.

Anyways, lately besides maybe on or two people, my relationships have improved. Due to the factor that one, I have quit trying to please everybody. If they aren’t gonna like me for who I am, then oh well. You either take it or leave it. I’m not gonna change just to make you happy. I will live my life the way I want it too and I will be ME!! And two, I am finding people In my life that I can trust and who like me for who I am. We can learn a lot from each other and we understand. Nobody is it just for themselves! So i’m pretty darn happy about that. It makes my life all the better to know that I can have at least two people I can trust!  Whom are also purely amazing 🙂

My key word for today though is motivation! I need to get motivated!!!!!!

 

*** My cat is a total dork. Im sitting here trying to type and every time my fingers move she is battin her claws at them. To be young and silly. I know how she feels sometimes.lol. Animals are amazing. If you love them and give them a great life, they will love you back and forever!

 

 

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