I think we all come to a point(s) in our lives when we think- “Why didn’t I know that earlier on in my life” or ” Why In the heck did I do this or not do that?” Well this past month has pretty much been that point in my life. I have come to realize things that I never even thought that would be possible or things that I regret not doing and taking the opportunity to do.
I also have to admit that my life( yes i’m still young) but it just seems to be going by a lot faster than I imagined. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe its not? I’m not sure yet.
Anyways, back to not doing things when I wish I would have. I look back to those certain points in my life when I had opportunities to do things and possibly do something that would create a better me but never took the full advantage of it or I was just plain old scared too. I think back to those times and say to myself ” What the heck?” Really??? I realized that every single one of those opportunities I didn’t take advantage of or pursue was because I was letting my emotions take control over me. I had negative thoughts. I didn’t think I could do it, I was expecting to much out of myself at first (perfection), I was scared. My mind was pretty much coming up with any darn excuse to not do it and I was following along with it. And to just think that I let my mind/thoughts have that much control over me in those situations just drives me nutz. I know that I could have told myself that none of that was true.
I have to admit that I also sometimes just had no motivation to do them because in the end I thought that it wouldn’t work or would just be useless. But even that comes back to the fact that I was letting my mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions control me because nothing cold really ever be useless. Every experience Is just another chance to grow. Yeah, It might not work out but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do them.
But its just crazy that to think I could have used those opportunities to grow and learn, but because I was letting my emotions take over, I didn’t even do them. Tisk, Tisk!!
Whats really crazy is; that I have had people tell me that I’m just letting my emotions take control over me/ my thoughts but I guess I just didn’t really take it so seriosuly!!
Now, on the the subject of not knowing things on earlier in my life; like….Some people really just do not give a s*** about you and are just in it for themselves!! That is probably the biggest one actually.
Also, I really wish I knew that I and only I am responsible for my own happiness. Seems like I would have figured that one out pretty easily right? Well, I didn’t. I think I can even recall people trying to tell me that I am the one responsible for my own happiness, but considering that I sometimes never really listened to people- Dumb!!!!- It never really even hit me. I look back and think to times when I have relied on other people to try to make me happy and it never worked. Why would it???? You can have somebody in your life that makes you happier or adds value but you really have to be the one to create your own happiness.
I guess these are all just life lessons though and I am beginning to get my share of them. I am glad though!! In some ways it does stink but it is good for me.