my apologies.

I have never felt the way I do about you. Never have I held on to someone so long. Through all the ups and downs. Tears and laughters. There were good and there were bad. I never knew I would have such strong feelings as I do. I never imagined that someone like you would come along. All my life I have lived with the craziest people. Never really knew what life was about. You showed me who I could really be……you actually believed in me!! Never has anybody tried so hard to help me change. You never gave up on me, you never stopped believing. You showed me better ways too live my life.  I always wondered why god had put you in my life. Why such an amazing person and why now??  I always knew we would have a friendship but never did i know it would be more. I sometimes wonder though….was that really meant to be? For you and ? for everybody?

I often thought that all it did was hurt? that maybe in the end all of it wasn’t worth it. Were you just helping a lost cause? But I know now that was never true. Life is full of twists and turns. Hurrdles and ditches. Troubles and striff but it was you all along that helped me push through. I know at times I never showed, or even told you how much I appreciate for all that you have and still do for me. I know at times I never told you how much I loved you and It is so very true!!!!  I sometimes wish I could back in time…to times when I should have said ” thank you’ or ” I love you”. I regret never doing those things. I wish I would have not been so selfish and enjoyed all the times i had with you. Many times all i do was whine and complain. All i wanted was all ur attention and time but, i look back now and realize, thats what you gave me all along!! I hated it when i never told you how i felt or helped enough. I was being so selfish. If i could have changed my attitude. all the times i just wanted to give up and move on. all i wanted was you and i had it all along.  all the emotions that we have both been through. all the struggles that you had to deal with. never did i appreciate it. appreciate that you never gave up on me!!

all my life i have been surrounded my selfish people and you, you were totally different…Never like that. never the person that just took and never gave. you were just the total opposite. all you did was give and never asked for anything in return. why did i never see that???? all u wanted was for me to be happy? you deserve all the love in the world. and i feel like i never gave u even that. what did i give u anyway???

all i can tell you know is im sorry for all the times i was a pain. sorry for all he times i never appreciated all you did for me. Sorry for all the times i never said “thank you” or ” i love you” when i should have. sorry for all the times that all it seemed like all i did was cause you trouble.

I love you so much and i always will. I know its still not easy but i know that i can do this for us. I can and will appreciate all that you do for me. The old me is now gone. Never will i let it come back.  I want to be a part of your life and help. i want to give back for all the times you gave to me.




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